This is 48

"Age before beauty" the saying goes - but why should one exclude the other?  Surely the two can co-exist? I recently came across Kristin Perer's beautiful and inspirational photographic blog called this is 50 which Perers started as a roadmap for turning 50 with style and grace, and here you will find both age and beauty in glorious abundance. These are women who are truly "bien dans leur peau" (comfortable in their own skin), following their own particular paths, career or otherwise, and their interviews make for uplifting reading. The photo montages sing with a wonderful zest for life and if Perers' aim is to make other women feel better about themselves through meeting these ladies, then she has certainly succeeded.

Photography: Kristin Perers

Photography: Kristin Perers

Photography: Kristin Perers

One of Perers' subjects is quoted saying "I am not just one picture" which I really like, and another has written an A-Z of what makes her life tick at 50 so I thought that as I celebrated my birthday yesterday I would share my version with you - thank you to Sian Tucker for the inspiration: this is 48

 A:  Adventure, Ageing, Amour, art
B:  Boys, Birth, Beach, blogging, BELONG, bed, Balance, blessed
C:  Cocktails, colour, cat, caring, candles
D:  DAN, discovery, dancing, daring, daughter
E:  Evolving, exploring, energy
F:  FAMILY, friends, fun, flowers, freedom, food, flexibility
G: Glitter, growing, garden, GRATEFUL
H: HAPPY, hugs, home, health
I:  Inspiration, ideas, idling, Instagram
J:  Joy, jeans, Romeo and "me"
K: Kisses, kisses, kisses
L:  LOVE, laughter, LUCKY, light
M: MOTHERHOOD, Mary Berry, macarons, mountains
N:  novels, nature, nurture, nourish
O:  Ottolenghi, optimism, older, outdoors
P:  photos, prayer, play, patience, pebbles, pockets
Q:  quiet...sshh...
R:  romance, renewal, reflection
S:  SISTER, sunshine, stars, smiles, soul, snoozing, singing - SONS
T:  Time, tomatoes, thanks
U:  upside down, ups and downs
V:  Vitality, (la dolce) vita
W: Wonder, WRINKLES, walks, waves, wisdom
X:  eXcitement, eXample
Y: Yoga (to keep me) young at heart, yes
Z:  zzzzz - sleep...

this is 48

Rockboy declared that 48 is "not that old",  so it's good not know I'm not over the hill just yet - phew! And as I always say, you're never too old for a sparkler:

Inspiration on International Women's Day

I read a great article in The Guardian today about Stella McCartney (one of my favourite women) and she had this to say about her late mother Linda, which I thought was worth re-quoting on International Women's Day:

Photo: Alain DeJean

“My mum had a massive influence on me, not just in what she wore and how she looked, but in her spirit. She was married to one of the most famous men in the world and she didn’t wear any makeup, ever. I mean, have you ever seen the wife of a man like that rock up with no makeup on? Because I haven’t, since. That courage, that inner confidence, is something I’ve never experienced in anyone else. I certainly haven’t got the balls to do it. I find everything about her pioneering, and amazing. She had a beautiful ease with herself.”

Photo: Allison Michael Orenstein for The Fashion/Guardian

Pioneering, amazing, ballsy and a beautiful ease - aspirations for any woman, especially on a day like today.

Help - it's a Mummy Mid-life Crisis!

Remember that classic moment in "When Harry met Sally" when Sally has a meltdown and utters the immortal words "And I'm gonna be 40!" to which Harry asks "When?" and she replies " Someday..... but it's there, it's just sitting there like this big dead end..."

Well last week I woke up and realized that I'm going to be 50 and not just someday, but ahem, in 3 years time - how on earth is that remotely possible? When did getting older sneak up and bite me on my (not nearly as perky as it once was) behind?  I only just turned 40 - didn't I? OK, breathe, it's not a dead end, I've still got loads of time to grow old disgracefully (which I fully intend to) and whereas Sally was panicking about being single and childless, I'm happily on the other side of that fence. With the boys growing in confidence and independence and the battle of the menopausal vs t(w)eenage mood-swings still at arm's length, I've finally got a sliver of me time - between school runs.

Time to work out what I need to do to hold it all together (answer: write my blog), time to ask myself such soul-searching questions as 'does facial acupuncture actually work?' (answer: worth a try) and 'can I get away with buying (and wearing) a black leather biker jacket?' (answer: yes, and it's in my wardrobe.) Nothing new of course, only now it's got a name. Yes, dear readers, apparently according to "Mums Like Us" author Laura Kemp I'm on the verge of a Mummy mid-life crisis - who knew?

According to Kemp there are seven symptoms of the 'Mumopause' and on going through the list I have to admit I'm exhibiting enough of them to qualify:

1. Having a Radical Haircut
Once a long haired girl always a long haired girl, that's me.  So why have I been drooling over pictures of Michelle Williams in the current Louis Vuitton campaign and wondering whether this style would suit me?

Michelle Williams for Louis Vuitton. Photo: Peter Lindbergh

 
2. Intense Exercise
I've written about my regular yoga class before and having taken it up 4 years ago it's now a fixed part of my weekly routine. I love the toning (body) and calming (mind) effects , (though heaven knows I will never have Gwyneth's "stripper's butt'') but that's not enough - suddenly I'm getting scarily drawn to rather whacky yoga leggings like these:

Onzie Galaxy yoga leggings

I even found myself a pair and absentmindedly did the school run in them post class - what was I thinking? Definitely crisis-worthy...

3. Getting Crafty
I've always been a fan of sewing a bit of bunting and making the odd lavender bag, but now thanks to the genius that is Pinterest, I'm nosily checking out everyone's interiors and holiday craft ideas and endlessly thinking I could make something similar if I had the time - which I would have, if I could just stop pinning.  Hang on, I know I've got a pot of blackboard paint somewhere....

Photo: Pinterest

4. Hooked on Social Media
Friends you've never met? Checking for constant updates on the minutiae of other people's lives? I would like to say that I'm not suffering from this symptom as I'm one of the only people left on the planet who is NOF (Not On Facebook.) How on earth do I cope you may well ask? Well, I find Instagram does it for me people, and if someone I've never met likes my cupcake photo, it quite frankly makes my day. Guilty m'lord.

5. Watching the News
Now that the children are no longer glued to Peppa Pig, we 'Mumopausal' ladies are finally able to get back to grips with world news and current affairs. Knowing what's going on in the outside world again should be a good thing, though the news is regularly so depressing that I often find myself wishing I was still watching the former.  However I have realized I can sneakily replace bearded Daddy Pig with the now rather gloriously bearded Jeremy Paxman - a perfect reason for my renewed interest in 'Newsnight'.

Jeremy Paxman Photo: BBC

6. Getting a dog
Hah - this is the one symptom I am definitely NOT exhibiting. Puppies are popping (or should that be pooping?) up all around me as other Mums I know succumb, but I am holding out - oh yes. I'm happy to have the house to myself once the boys have all left in the morning, I do not need a reason to go out for a walk in the freezing cold, no thank you. But I do think Bob will be making his way onto Captain Adorable's bed for Christmas - and no, he's not a real dog - ingenious eh?

www.snurkbeddengoed.nl

7. Caring about winter boots
Last winter it was all about my Sorel boots. That was my quest for the practical and stylish option (my 'crise' was obviously starting back then.) Now that's done I'm free to spend hours Googling slightly more frivolous footwear. I didn't know I needed a patent pair but as my favourite Fashion Editor Lisa Armstrong says - they go with everything - so now of course I do... I'm off to Zara tomorrow.

(L-R): Leather, £515, by Miu Miu, from net-a-porter.com , Block heel, £75, by Zara (zara.com) , Leather with ankle strap, £374.35, by Church's, from farfetch.com

And there you have it - I score 6.5 out of 7 - I think the 'Mummy mid-life crisis' Club would have me.

But wait, isn't there an 8th symptom out there - what about 'Getting a Tattoo'?  Surely that's a sign?  I've thought quite alot about it on and off - nothing very original I grant you: 2 stars on my wrist or the boys names in Sanskrit but so far I've resisted (perhaps subconsciously trying to keep my crisis at bay?) And then this week the 75 year old BBC TV presenter David Dimbleby revealed that he has recently had a scorpion tattooed on his back, which when I add that to David Beckham's current inking overload, I can safely say has knocked any desire I had to get a tattoo firmly on the head. Over, kaput, not for me.

Photo: BBC

 Still happy to include a pic of Becks though in his new Christmas undies:

David Beckham for H&M

So, saved by the bell (well actually the scorpion), English Gent can sleep easy, safe in the knowledge that I'm not going to turn into the Tattooed Lady over night and I can get my required 8 hours as I reckon I'm holding off on my 'Mummy mid-life' crisis - for now.  But it's definitely a slippery slope.... Are you holding out or joining the ranks? I'd love to know.

Yoga - remember it's only about you...

"It's not where you are in a posture, it's how aware you are in a posture" - I read this in a yoga magazine recently and I'm trying VERY hard to apply it as I contort my body into some new pose and resist sneeking a peek at my neighbour to see how they are doing.  Such simple words but boy, are they difficult to put into practice.

Photo: Marc Quinn

Age is just a number

Last weekend The Guardian published their 50 best dressed over 50 list and as Jess Cartner-Morley comments: "It's more interesting than your average best-dressed list, because style over 50 has a depth of character with which no youngster can compete, however good she may look in hotpants". Hear, hear.

With the world at large, and particularly the fashion world, obsessed with youth and hanging on to it, it is refreshing to celebrate people who are often erroneously considered 'past it', and whilst I'm not so sure that beauty does fade as Jess suggests, style certainly becomes more important. There's a real smorgasbord of style amongst the 50 over 50 - here are my favourite ladies from the list, in no particular order:
 

Photo: Ari Seth Cohen

Iris Apfel, 91: One of Ari Seth Cohen's Advanced Style favourites, Apfel recently said: "No amount of money can buy you style. If someone says, ‘Buy this – you’ll be stylish’, you won’t be stylish because you won’t be you. You have to learn who you are first and that’s painful… I don’t try to intellectualise about it because it tightens you up. I think you have to be loose as a goose.” I love that. Being Iris means owl-sized glasses, necklaces, bangles and bright colours that all add up to "Manhattan's coolest and oldest it-girl" - proof that age really is just a number.

Photo: Linda Nylind

Lucinda Chambers, 53: The fashion director of UK Vogue has that unique British ability to mix and match prints and fabrics and always look totally individual and true to herself. Her Vogue photoshoots are an extension of her style and self expression. Sheer class.

Photo: Sofia Sanchez & Mauro Mongiello

Charlotte Rampling, 67:  Here is a woman who holds no truck with ageing or with fashion and yet commands complete authority through the power of her image. She is the very epitome of the stylish and supremely sexy older woman. I am in complete awe of her.

Photo: Marco Grob for Time

Julianne Moore: 52: Moore keeps things simple and real. Hers is an unadorned beauty, and when she does glam up for an awards ceremony she usually blows away the competition. Definitely one of my major role models for ageing gracefully.

Photo: Rex

Mary Berry, 78: Homely and glamorous en même temps, Berry has become a national treasure thanks to "The Great British Bake Off" and something of a style icon with her colourful scarves, jackets, and perfectly coiffed hair. I would adopt her as my second Mum in an instant. This blue evening dress is a triumph and she knocks spots off many women half her age - way to go Mary.

Photo: Billy Farrell Agency/Rex Features

Tilda Swinton, 52:  Ah, Tilda, be still my beating heart. Here is a woman to confuse, subvert, upend and flount every fashion diktat you thought you knew, and still be breathtakingly stunning. She pushes the boundaries with her fashion choices, does androgyny like no-one else (but can also be amazingly feminine) and dances to her own tune in all aspects of her life. Respect.

Photo: Ben Quinton for The Guardian

Kirsty Wark, 58: One of the mainstays of BBC2's Newsnight for the past 20 years, Wark knows her Marni from her Dries van Noten and firmly believes that feminists can and should care about fashion. Here she is totally rocking this season's taffeta Dior skirt and top - a woman supremely confident with how she looks and how she is perceived. Brains and beauty, a winning combination.

Photo: Suki Dhanda

Kristin Scott Thomas, 52: The English think she is French, the French think she is English. Forever in our psyche as the haute English aristocrat, in real life she is more the classic, cool (albeit adopted) Parisienne, all trench coats and white shirts with a cool reserve, and that je ne sais quoi that just makes her all the more interesting. Femme fatale and English rose all rolled into one.

Photo: Getty

Diana Athill, 91: The last word has to go to the wonderful Athill who told The Guardian three years ago: “However old one is, one still feels inside like the person one used to be. It’s a foolish mistake to try too hard to look like that person, but it would be a bit sad to look very much like something else.”

That pretty much sums up perfectly how I would like to carry on ageing into my 50's and beyond.  Whilst you cannot keep your youth (and let's face it I don't want to revisit the 80's again, truly I don't), you can still be true to yourself at any age and all of the above women are setting a fine example of doing just that. Ladies, I salute you.

Let's hear it for the sisterhood

It's International Women's Day today, a chance to think about and thank all those inspirational women who work tirelessly to make the world a better place, who risk their lives to make a difference and who always put others first, no matter what the circumstances. The wonderful and fearless Sunday Times war correspondent Marie Colvin, who was sadly killed in Homs in Syria on February 20th last year is one such woman. She was intrepid, committed, some might say foolhardy but really just a woman who believed in what she was doing and wanted to get the job done. She knew she had responsibilities and would have to make difficult choices but she did what she had to do and the world is a poorer place without her.

Photo: Ivor Prickett/The Sunday Times/EPA

One of my favourite blogs The Women's Room has put together a great list of inspirational women today, from the indefatigable Camila Batmanghelidjh, founder of the life changing Kids Company to Jane Shepherdson, CEO of Whistles, plus the amazing Grace Coddington and Patti Smith:

Camila Batmanghelidjh/Photo: Judy Leigh-Reed

Jane Shepherdson/Photo: vogue.co.uk

Grace Coddington/Photo: Danielle Levitt

Patti Smith/Photo: Edward Mapplethorpe

All wonderful women doing their own thing and more importantly, owning what they do.

But I think International Women's Day can be about more than that. It can and should be about us, the ordinary, everyday women who are working hard, looking after their families,  juggling careers, kids, partners, trying to fit everything in, struggling at times but always keeping going, because we have to, and guess what? We too get the job done. We can be hard on ourselves, and on others - our standards are high but for a reason, we want the best and we'll do our best to get it.

I am lucky to be supported by wonderful girlfriends who inspire me on a daily basis - both those who live near me, and those who now are further away. To my mother and my sister I say thank you - for giving me two gorgeous, brave, beautiful women to look up to and live up to. This day is for you.