The Look of Love

Call me a hopeless romantic, and I'll agree with you. Whilst Valentine's Day can get lost in a sea of tacky cards and wilting red roses, telling someone you love them - on any day of the year - is always a good thing.  I wrote about finding your soulmate in a post entitled Vive l'Amour,' last year, and I'm more than happy to have an excuse to return to the subject.

Photo: Robert Doisneau: A Bouquet of Daffodils - 1950

My love story with English Gent began 25 years ago this week - that first lunch date a mix of butterflies and flirting, of hope and possibility - who knew a shared burrito would prove so life-changing? And over the years, I've learnt that the waiting, the knowing and the wanting don't fade, as Walt Whitman's poem 'A Glimpse' captures so well :

A glimpse through an interstice caught,

Of a crowd of workmen and drivers in a bar-room around the stove late of a winter night, and I unremark’d seated in a corner,

Of a youth who loves me and whom I love, silently approaching and seating himself near, that he may hold me by the hand,

A long while amid the noises of coming and going, of drinking and oath and smutty jest,

There we two, content, happy in being together, speaking little, perhaps not a word.

Photo: Robert Doisneau: Middle Aged Couple come to the Bals Musettes - 1950

After all these years there's really no-one else's hand I'd rather hold, and he still takes my breath away.

Photo: Robert Doisneau - The Kiss 1950

So wherever you are and whoever you are with, I hope you get to feel the love and have a very Happy Valentine's Day.

PS - I just found out that the man who was the voice of 'Mickey Mouse' actually married the voice of 'Minnie Mouse' - now that's what I call true love.

Vive l'amour!

My Scottish adventure this weekend was a triumph of love over heartache, longing and defying the romantic odds, and I for one am still punching the air with the joy of it all. One of our dearest friends has finally found the girl of his dreams and we were there to celebrate with them and to affirm the long held belief that your soulmate does exist and is out there, waiting for you, if you just know where to look and can hang on long enough to find them.

Photo: Pinterest

 
Call me a romantic - I was a teenager in the 80's - but hey, who didn't want their best friend to shout "Way to go Paula!" as the Richard Gere of their dreams burst through the factory door and carried them off for a life of everlasting travel love? Whilst I didn't particularly want to marry myself an 'avia-tor', I firmly believed in 'the one' and spent a hell of a long time looking for him, and he finally showed up, in my fourth year at university, unassuming but gorgeous, funny and quirky (the first time I met him properly he had a folded sock in his jacket pocket having been unable to find a clean handkerchief - that sock has a lot to answer for...) and for some inexplicable reason he was interested in me. We made it as a couple beyond graduation and down to London, and the rest as they say, is history.

Photo: Rex Features

Now, after many years together and with the pitter patter of tiny feet an often deafening noise as their feet grow ever larger, it is easy to forget that first flush of love when we realized that our life had taken on new meaning, we were no longer on our own and we had indeed made it in the happiness stakes.  The minutiae of everyday life takes over whether we like it or not - we are now undeniably grown up - the 'sandwich generation' with young children and elderly parents to look after and we are having to juggle more with every passing year. True love and how it once felt gets to take a back seat, which is a sorry indictment of our priorities and how much time we have to ourselves these days - it's been a long time since we had a slow dance in the kitchen.

Photo: Pinterest

Whilst everyone has their own way of dealing with this - be it date nights, weekends away, anniversary surprises, post-it notes that say 'I love you' or just an unexpected kiss 'hello' or 'goodbye', it is good to be reminded that we were once so giddy with love we could hardly breathe and we didn't know how we would survive until we saw each other again.

Seeing someone you are close to finally find 'the one', and remembering that when it comes down to it, this is what truly matters, is a life and love affirming emotion that has made me stop and take stock of what English Gent and I have and what we are still capable of, so long as we make time for ourselves and remember where it all began and why.  To slightly misquote my other favourite 80's movie: nothing and 'nobody puts Baby (and Johnny) in a corner' and if we just stop and think about it, we are still dancing in the kitchen and having the time of our lives. 

Rites of Passage

Summer's over, it's back to school and back to my blog, however before I get back to posting about daily life, style, fashion and the like, I need a moment of introspection.  Sitting here at my desk, with the late Summer sun pouring in through my window I'm reflecting on all that has happened over the past two months. You may well ask where have I been all this time and why the silence?  Well it's been a funny old Summer really, life has thrown itself at me in ways I couldn't possibly have imagined and I have lived to tell the tale, the same person yet fundamentally changed.

Photo: Pinterest

You see, my beloved Dad died suddenly during the first week of the Summer holidays and the axis of my existence has shifted irrevocably. Nothing can prepare you for the gaping hole of grief that threatens to swallow you whole, turn blue skies grey, laughter to tears and hope to despair.  It feels as if you will never emerge back into the blinking light of normality and yet you have to, and everyday life pulls you back into the moment and you carry on, somehow.

My Dad was a warm, generous family man and in his heyday a true bon viveur and the life and soul of any party. I have one beautiful older sister, and if he ever wanted boys, he never let on - we were his girls and he loved us fiercely, expecting the best from us and wanting the best for us. He taught me a myriad things: how to ski, how to mix the perfect G&T,  how to stand up for myself, how to expect high standards in life, how to love. Long before Wikipedia there was my Dad - he knew everything about anything, even the most obscure facts and his thirst for knowledge was infectious - there are still some really weird things that I find myself knowing, all thanks to him.

My parents would have been married for 52 years today and the poignancy of today's date brings the memories flooding back as they have been all Summer.  When a person is still with us but nearing the end of their life, you tend to only concentrate on the here and now, the difficulties, the problems, the rigours of old age, the sadness and pain of ill health. Yet now I find myself on the other side of this inevitable rite of passage, the stories, scenes and souvenirs of my past are vibrantly replayed, as if I am watching my early life on Super 8 - the picture is a bit distorted, the sound isn't always clear, but the images still burn bright and remind me that all these pieces of the puzzle are what makes me who I am today.

My father had the most wonderful hands - strong, square, warm, firm hands that could soothe away all ills with one stroke on the forehead, and I find myself doing the same for my two boys. Walking hand in hand he would give mine a squeeze and I would squeeze back, a little thing I have taught both my boys to do, and so the family traditions continue. What I wouldn't give to hold those hands again, but in my heart I do. The writer John Niven wrote a very moving article recently about losing a family member that closes with the Philip Larkin quote "What will survive of us is love." I couldn't have put it better myself, except perhaps to quote Dad who would have said "If life gives you lemons, make gin and tonic." Cheers, my wonderful Da.

Feel the love at Merci

Whilst I sit in my (currently very soggy) field in my small corner of France, wondering whether Summer will ever arrive, I find myself daydreaming of hot footing it to Paris for a day's shopping, sipping coffee at the Cafe de Flore, in the sunshine obvs, but then WHAM - I come back down to earth with a bump realizing that a) it's just not feasible on a school day, b) on the weekend I'd have 3 grumpy boy shoppers in tow, so c) I need to adopt a rather different approach.

Photo: www.huffingtonpost.com

Which is why I am so happy that after years of patient waiting, Merci - my favourite shop in Paris, has finally gone online - hooray! English Gent is blissfully unaware of this major development in my life and I'm going to have to be very strict about my 'browsing' vs my 'buying' but it's an excellent reason to take you on a virtual tour of this beautiful concept store. Allons-y.

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

Photo: www.hausofmoo.com

Situated in what is now called the Haut-Marais, and just slightly off the beaten track, Merci was started in 2009 by Bernard and Marie-France Cohen, founders of the oh so Parisian children's clothing label Bonpoint.  They saw an opportunity in Paris for a store combining high-end fashion with interior décor, beauty,  art, design and homeware, championing new designers, hosting art installations, alongside a bookshop, a garden, a florist, two buzzing cafés and a restaurant - in short somewhere you could happily while away several hours browsing, shopping, or just hanging out - a venue that would swiftly become the hip place to see and be seen, in a nonchalant boho Parisian kind of a way. Think Anthropologie, but well, just more French....

Second Hand Bookshop Cafe

The Merci Canteen

But on top of all this the Cohens have played a masterstroke - they have managed to make the Merci shopping experience even more satisfying for their customers by combining consumerism with philanthropy:  after operating costs, all profits from the store go to benefit women and children in south-west Madagascar, with a particular emphasis on education and learning new skills, so you can know that the money you are spending is going straight to help others. Shopping with a conscience doesn't get much better than this.

Photo: www.huffingtonpost.com

The ground floor décor changes regularly depending on which designer, artist or cause the store is showcasing and the cute red Fiat 500 - a permanent fixture in the courtyard and the store's mascot - is frequently re-vamped and is currently covered in Aurelie Mathigot's flax crochet work, as part of her art installation: "L'Art du Lin, l'intemporel".

Merci courtyard - Aurelie Mathigot "L'Art du Lin, l'intemporel"

Brands such as Isabel Marant, Paul Smith, Stella McCartney and YSL have donated exclusive pieces to the store, and along with merci-merci's own brand - a range of sophisticated basics - you can get a full dose of that elusive Parisian chic, for a considerably reduced price.

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

The menswear section in-store is very cool with an old fashioned tailor's shop vibe - Savile Row meets Serge Gainsbourg - even English Gent was impressed (yes, I managed to get the world's greatest anti-shopper inside - but he was indulging me as it was my birthday....)

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

He got happily lost in the homewares department - phew....

Photo: www.huffingtonpost.com

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

The 18th century building with its airy, loft like feel, mixes the vintage with the contemporary in an artful, laid back way. Part industrial space, part Parisian townhouse - there are sweeping staircases, cozy nooks, chandeliers, books, and wherever you look things to pick up, feel, touch, smell and discover.

Photo: www.hausofmoo.com

A really charming idea is the Annick Goutal 'laboratoire' where you can mix your own fragrance for a remarkably reasonable price given the usual cost of a bespoke fragrance, and her mainline perfumes. For obvious reasons this service is not available online but if you get the chance to visit it's a whole lot of fun.

Photo: www. merci-merci.com

I'm loving these Liberty print suitcases, which are available here, and the masking tape is so pretty.The Fiat 500 had a Liberty makeover too....

Photo:www.avecsfr.blogspot.fr

A recent collaboration between two classic French brands, Aigle x Kitsuné produced this "festival kit" of a poncho and classic Aigle wellington boots - boy do I need them here in my field - now!

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

And when did cleaning utensils ever look more chic?

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

My purchases last time I visited were a beautiful coral linen scarf, some recycled rubber bangles made by a women's co-operative in Mali, and lots of lovely notebooks for me and stationery for the boys.

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

I like the fact that you can buy little things for a few euros, as well as bigger items and they are happy to ship internationally.

Photo: www.merci-merci.com

Whilst shopping online is never going to be as exciting as visiting the actual shop, I hope this has given you a taster of the style aesthetic and raison d'être of this fabulous non-profit establishment. You can read more about Merci's endowment fund and the charity's progress here. There are so many lovely things to choose from, I hope you'll find something you like when browsing, and when you're next in Paris, be sure to put it on your list of places to visit. Either way, it's a win win scenario - actively helping others simply by treating ourselves - what's not to love?

I'm off for a spot of shopping - merci!

Ground Control to Major Tom

Sometimes we need to find a little inspiration in our lives to lift us out of the humdrum everyday routine and make us stop and realize that it's the here and now that matters and most importantly that it's those people in our here and now who matter the most.  It could just be a morning snuggle with your 6 year old, still warm and half-asleep, the simple fact that the sun is shining or mastering a yoga pose just for a fraction of a second - anything, no matter how small, can make a difference to your day and to your life.

Photo: Pinterest

And sometimes, it's the unlikeliest people who provide the inspiration, so step forward Commander Chris Hadfield and Angelina Jolie. A seemingly unlikely double act I'll admit, but both of them have shared a part of themselves with the world this week, and in totally different ways have inspired us to stop and think about about love, life and the universe.

Photo: AP/Nasa

Commander Chris Hadfield has been in charge of the International Space Station for the past 5 months and has been tweeting his experiences back to Earth whilst sharing amazing photographs from space. If ever you needed a reason for the existence of Twitter - Commander Chris is it.

South Island New Zealand Photo: Chris Hadfield/NASA

Mount Etna Photo: Chris Hadfield/NASA

But his parting shot as he finished his stint "far above the world" this week is a stroke of genius: with David Bowie's blessing he has recorded the classic track "Space Oddity" from inside the Space Station and it's moving, wonderful, lump in the throat stuff.

The lyrics "Here am I floating in my tin can" have never been more apt and as we watch the beautiful images of Earth passing Hadfield's window he reminds us just how awe-inspiring our planet and the Universe really are. My boys have always been keen on playing astronauts and never more so than having watched this video - they would both apply to NASA tomorrow if they could. (The video's gone viral not surprisingly, with all the papers and news channels commenting on it.) Inspiring stuff for Earthlings, and a slam-dunk for Bowie fans everywhere.

"The Moon rising over a bed of cloud. A constant reminder to us all of what can be achieved." 

And so to what's being called a "giant leap for womankind" (see what I did there?) Angelina Jolie announced this week in the New York Times that she has undergone a preventive double mastectomy after she discovered via genetic testing that she carried a faulty BRCA1 gene which gave her an estimated 87% risk of contracting breast cancer and a 50% risk of ovarian cancer. Her breast cancer risk now, post surgery has been reduced to under 5%.

Photo: Brad Pitt

Jolie's beloved mother died of the disease at the age of 56 and her premature death devastated the actress. Now, as a mother of 6 children, whilst Jolie found the decision to have the surgery (and subsequent breast reconstruction) a tough one, she is very happy she made it. And most importantly of all she says: "I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer."

Photo: Brad Pitt

Photo: Brad Pitt

She then states: "On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity." Way to go Angie. By speaking out about her choices, awareness for genetic testing and preventive treatment for breast cancer has already increased, and in addition to all the print article coverage, I have listened to several debates on both television and radio this week and all are in broad support of Jolie's actions, her courage and her impact on this hugely important health issue. Finally, if we needed further proof of the "Angelina effect", la Jolie is on the cover of this week's Time Magazine with Time's Jeffrey Kluger calling her revelation a "cultural and medical earthquake." Yup, this is going to be huge....

Photo: Melodie McDaniel/Trunk Archive

 
We can't cheat destiny, but Jolie is giving it her best shot.  She is brave, she is beautiful, she is a great role model and through her personal choices and actions she is doing the best to be there for her children for as long as she can be. I cannot think of a more inspiring life lesson than that. Can you hear me Major Tom?

The How, Now and Wow of Happiness

Following on from my post on Lilly Pulitzer - a woman who literally made being happy her business (happiness as a style choice?), it struck me how, due to the complicated nature of our lives these days, enjoying our own happiness can seem like a Herculean task at times. Do we sometimes need to be reminded of how happy we are and how much we have going for us?

Photo: Pinterest

Whilst I'm not really one for self-help books or the like, back in January when I was thinking about my plans and goals for 2013, I noted down a list of 12 things happy people do differently (taken from Sonja Lyubomirsky's book The How of Happiness), and hopefully, with only a dash of 'psycho-babble' (thank you English Gent), I thought they were worth sharing:

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Photo: Pinterest

1. Express gratitude:  If we are grateful for the goodness that is already present in our lives, then we will feel a deeper sense of happiness.   
2. Cultivate optimism: No matter what situation we find ourselves in, we have to try to put an optimistic spin on it. Then failure becomes less of a setback and more of an opportunity to grow and learn. 
3. Avoid over-thinking and social comparison: Comparing ourselves to someone else is unhealthy and ultimately poisonous.  If we must compare ourselves to someone, then we should look at an earlier version of ourselves.
4. Practice acts of kindness: Being kind to others make us feel better - FACT.  Serotonin gets released and does more for us than a packet of pills ever could. Plus, if we're doing good, other people around us will also feel better by association.
5. Nurture social relationships: The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Happy = love. Being connected and having an active circle of good friends whom we can share our experiences with is vital to our existence. Loneliness is definitely bad for the soul.
6. Develop strategies for coping: We all know there are going to be bad days and bad times - and how we respond to them is what makes us ultimately stronger and braver people. S**t happens - cue Forrest Gump and his box of chocs. What do you do when you get the orange cream?
7. Learn to forgive: Nothing is more toxic than hanging onto negative feelings - seriously bad for our well-being. Like anger, hate is a totally negative emotion - just let it go.
8. Increase flow experiences. – Flow = being mindful - when we are completely in the now and at one with what we are doing. Yoga is great for mindfulness, but just taking 5 minutes to breathe and connect with whatever we are engaged in during the day can be just as beneficial.
9. Savour life’s joys:  We have so many demands on our time we often miss the little things that can be the most rewarding.We need to slow down and quite literally, smell the roses.
10. Commit to your goals: When we fully commit to something, this gives us a great boost - both mentally and physically. We have no choice but to just get on with it and when we have a purpose, this makes us happy.
11. Practice spirituality. – When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us. Connection, enough said.
12. Take care of your body:  A bit of a no-brainer really - if we're in good shape physically, then our mental energy (our focus), our emotional energy (our feelings), and our spiritual energy (our purpose) will be boosted and our happiness levels will soar.

Photo: Pinterest

OK, so none of that's rocket science and we all know what makes us happy.  But maybe just sometimes it's good to have a reminder of what we need to take stock of and what we may need to change in order to be the happiest we can be - or indeed we can just celebrate where we are at.  I know that if I'm feeling good about myself and my lot in life then that rubs off on the rest of the family and if I'm not, well, they all know about it.... So here's to sunshine this weekend and happiness all round, in whatever form it takes (a BBQ and cocktails anyone?)

Signs of Love Part 2

When you start looking, you can find them anywhere....

My rural idyll is fast becoming an urban jungle as we are surrounded by building sites on both sides of our house at the moment, but I found love amongst the snow and concrete: 

A heart shaped apple wreath in a Geneva florists' today:

More neon in a fancy shop window in Geneva, a good excuse to crack open the bubbly!

 And last but not least, some perfect roses, as given to me by English Gent.

You see, he didn't disappoint...